Internal Dialogue
by Mynthia Fae
Summary: What goes on between the Sorting Hat and the students? What were they thinking?
1. Granger, Hermione

A/N: If you recognize it, then it is not mine. Idea was spawned from Maraudercat's Conversation with a Hat challenge, and I do hope that you enjoy.

* * *

**Internal Dialogue  
Ch 1: Granger, Hermione**

"Granger, Hermione."

'Hmm. What have we-'

_This is the sorting hat! I read about it in Hogwarts: A History on the train today. The shabby old thing-_

'Excuse me? Shabby?'

_Used to belong to none other than Godric Gryffindor himself, and along with the other founders became used to sort children between the houses since they couldn't agree to take only a certain kind of student, and that's how the houses were formed. Gryffindor got the brave, Ravenclaw got the smart, Slytherin got the crafty, and Hufflepuff took anyone who couldn't find a home in the rest of the houses. I hate to use the word misfits, but I really do think that that is what they were, not that there is anything wrong with that and-_

'I do hope that this doesn't take too much longer. Hard to sift through your brain when you spend so much time thinking to yourself. I KNOW my history, thank you kindly. Perhaps Ravenclaw for you…'

_Ravenclaw! I could discuss my theories on the existence of magic and how it corresponds to the world around us, magical energies from the planet, and the revolution of the moon in relation to the sun-_

'I think this girl might just be too smart for Ravenclaw. Might very well destroy the sanity of the fine house… or the bell curve-'

_Mom would be so proud of me if I could get into such a fine House as that. I miss her. I feel so alone here. Everyone seems to have friends from before the school year started or at least made friends on the train. Even that Boy Wonder kid seems to have developed a friendship with that red-haired boy with the dirt on his nose._

'Alone in the big world, my dear. Perhaps Hufflepuff would be a good place for you. You will make many friends there.'

_Hufflepuff? A fine house, but a bit of a let down. Misfits. Maybe that is all I am, Muggleborn, different that everyone else. But watch me prove that I am as good a witch as any. I have already mastered a few spells that freckle-faced kid couldn't do._

'My dear. I have changed my opinion of you. You will do very well in the House I have chosen for you, and you will do many a great things for your friends-'

_I don't have any friends!_

'You will, child. You will. But might I suggest that you don't flaunt your knowledge too much where you are going. Trust me on this one.'

_How do you know?_

'I just do. Don't doubt the sorting hat. I will never place a student in the wrong house. _Ever_. '

"GRYFFINDOR!"

* * *

A/N: There will be other chapters with other students, though I am not at all sure of who will be up next. I do hope that you enjoyed this somewhat.


	2. Snape, Severus

"Snape, Severus."

'That name just sounds… Slytherin. But to be fair let us take a look.'

_…_

'Do you not have any thoughts boy?'

_…_

'Come now, I cannot seem to read anything in your mind.'

_…_

'Silent. I can conclude mostly friendless.'

_I have friends._

'It does think!'

_Of course, I think. I think it is an entirely pointless exercise to have a conversation with a brainless hat that is designed to place us in Houses._

'Brainless! I am insulted, sir. Certainly not the friendly sort, and I feel a lie when you said you had friends. Perhaps Hufflepuff would be good for you. Easy to make friends in that house-'

_I will not be placed in a House that sounds like it was named after a Muggle breakfast cereal! So help me, I will blast you into a million pieces-_

'Such authority. Not even so much as a please. And have you ever considered washing your hair? I fear anyone who wears me after this will need a bath. Oh, come now, stop the growling. Won't do either of us any good. I think I have heard enough.'

"SLYTHERIN!"

* * *

A/N: Wanted to thank everyone who reviewed the first chapter. Much love for reviews. I had a plan for Snape's chapter and somehow I don't think it made it through my keyboard the right way...

WuHaoNi - I'm glad you enjoyed that bit of wit. Glad I wasn't the only one to find it funny.

Batamut - I honestly don't have the books anymore so I had nothing to reference when she was sorted. I know, bad Mynthia! I gave them to my little brother for Christmas since he enjoyed it so much when I read them to him.

Tearful Reunion and Bad Mum - Glad you enjoyed it.

Udumuhv - Will try and update this on a regular basis for you. :) I do have other stories to update as well, but I shall endeavor to poke my Muse often for this as well as the others.


End file.
